I'm a therapist, parent educator, writer and speaker who specializes in supporting parents of anxious children and teens
#143: battle testing ideas ☀️
Published 3 months ago • 4 min read
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I've been in talks with an agent about representing a book idea I've been playing with for a long while and his advice was to "battle-test your ideas" because the book I'm writing (working title, Tell Me ItWill Be OK: Raising Anxious Children in a Worried World) is a squishy book. By that I mean, it's not a straightforward: HERE IS HOW TO DO ANXIETY book because there are already wonderful books about that. (May I please point your attention to Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents by Lynn Lyons.)
The book I'm working on is meant to help parents get to the place where they can access the excellent information in resources like Lynn's book. My experience working with so many families is that just because people WANT to change doesn't mean that they're READY to change. In the clinical book, Parent-Led CBT for Child Anxiety, they call this a "give it a go" attitude. (For some reason my email software isn't letting me link that correctly so to check out the book, go here.) My book is meant to create that "give it a go" readiness and develop the parents' insight so that they have a real, soul-deep understanding of what's going on
The book is meant to mimic the way I've successfully worked with parents one to one, helping them connect with and process their motivation, their wisdom, and their intuition.
To explain what I mean, this is the opening two paragraphs to the first chapter.
Pretend that I am your therapist. We are sitting together in a quiet room, and you are telling me about your anxious child. Pretend I am there with you, and there is nothing you can tell me that will surprise me. You are safe. I am listening.
Your child is anxious about the world, and you are anxious about your child. Maybe they are struggling with friends or with school or with sleeping alone. And this worries you. You are also worried about the great, big, wide world beyond them, and this is part of what fuels your anxiety. How do I keep them safe? How do I keep them happy? How do I keep them whole? Pretend that we are sitting together, and you are telling me all of this. I am listening.
So I was struggling. How do I battle-test this very intimate way of working in a broader way? Which is how I came up with The Practice. This is a weekly reflective journaling exercise, based on my training in narrative therapy, motivational interviewing, and humanistic psychology. Of course it's NOT therapy although it could be a great adjunct to therapy. I am needing 20 people to help me test it for six weeks. The first test session of TELL ME IT WILL BE OK: The Practice, will drop via private podcast on May 11th (appropriately the day after Mother's Day). Testers can listen and journal whenever it suits their schedule. There will be five more episodes and then a survey for feedback. If you are willing to be a tester, click here and you'll be tagged to get an invite. (I'm sending invites out on Tuesday, May 5th.)
If more than 20 people are interested, those who don't get in will get some kind of thank you offer.
I will not be promoting this heavily; I'll just move it into the Highlight box at the bottom of each newsletter once it's launched for real.
Thanks for your help!
PODCAST
What's up on the podcast
This month is Mental Health Awareness Month! So after the podcast that dropped on Friday about finding a therapist for your child, I will be hosting several guest podcasts. They will appear on my channel on Fridays and I will share more info about each one in the next newsletter. This won't be on YouTube but you'll find them in your podcast app if you're already a subscriber. Just look for TELL ME IT WILL BE OK wherever you get your podcasts!
I talk about Bedtime Navigator, my course for anxious families who need to get some sleep, right below this and one of the things it teaches it that bedtime is really all about habits. Having a sound that cues "hey! it's time for sleeping!" can be a part of this. You don't need a fancy sound machine or an expensive app. Soundly Sleeping is for iPads (if you get the app) but there are plenty of other versions out there if this one doesn't suit you. You can hook it up to a bluetooth speaker in your child's room (keep the iPad out of there to lessen temptation) and let your child choose a sound to help lull them into drowsiness. This was something I did deliberately a few years back when I had some work travel coming up. Training my brain to recognize distant fuzz as a sleep signal let me take that sound with me so it was much easier to fall asleep in the hotel room. I just took my tiny travel speaker with me and put the app on my phone. (Ok, last weekend I did just leave my speaker at a hotel by mistake but none of us is perfect and eBay hooked me right up with a new-to-me one!)
May highlight
Bedtime Navigator
Sleep is an issue for lots of families but especially in families where anxiety is present
Lack of sleep makes things worse; sound sleep is one of the most important things to care for our mental health! But anxiety can make it hard for our kids to fall asleep and stay asleep.
Targeting bedtime is an effective first step to healing child and teen anxiety! We start with a strong foundation with a thorough assessment and identifying your goals then we create a personalized, unique plan that makes the best sense for you, your child, and the rest of the family (one size does NOT fit all!) and then we will WORK that plan! This is a more intense course but you can take all of the time you need and come back to it again and again. It's just $55. Check it out and sign up here.
therapist • parent educator • writer/speaker I've been supporting kids & families for more than 30 years. I have my masters in clinical mental health counseling and post-grad certification in infant/toddler mental health.